The Cure

My cure for a slow, hard to wake up morning? Music. Nothing gets my day going better than getting ready to some toe-tapping, upbeat music! Keith Urban, Rascal Flatts or even some good old fashioned BSB does the trick every time!

Another doldrums pick-me-up? Rob's blog. Robierto25.blogspot.com. It's my favorite- check it out! He is, by far, one of the funniest people I know!

Some things

I got Tim Tams today.  I can't wait to eat them!  It will be a good ending to a crazy, hard week.  There is so much to do for school in the next few weeks.  I can't wait 'till Thanksgiving!  

I realized today just how happy  I am at Savior of the World.  I never feel as completely at home as I do there.  I love everyone there and they all teach me each day.  I'm grateful for the great examples of the people around me at the theater.  It was sort of a blow to my ego to not get cast as Mary this year, but I really felt today that I am where I'm supposed to be.  I love being able to just sing my role without having to make my voice young or old.  I'm thankful that other people are so positive about my new role, too!  The Lord always helps us to grow.  Isn't it great?  

Michelle told me a few weeks ago that I have a regal stance... I'm pretty sure I never thought- ever- that that would be said of me!  It made my year, seriously.  

Uh...

Remember how I'm certified to sail a 27-foot keelboat? Yep. And remember how I'm 24 now? Yup. And how we finally painted our house and it's AWESOME?! Yep. And how I'm Mary Mag this year? Yeppers... And how we spent an hour getting two miles away after the football game on Saturday? Yep. And how I desperately want my body from last year back? Yes, yes I do. And remember how I spent an hour and a half cutting Alex's hair on Saturday, which now looks great? Totally. And remember how Alex found me a car yesterday, because my Pontiac finally decided to die? Uh huh. He's cute.

Such is life!

Best of Times, Worst of Times

At the beginning of the year, when school was about to start, I looked everywhere for my backpack. Seriously, everywhere. I couldn't imagine where it had gone. I was very sad and had to endure last semester with my YA bag as my backpack, which looks really cool, but is extremely uncomfortable to wear for an extended period of time, especially if it's heavy.

So a few days ago, Alex was getting ready to go on a business trip. As his lovely and dutiful wife, I was helping him pack, despite my devastation at his leaving me. I decided he could take the small suitcase, which doesn't get used much, as he was only going to be gone a few days. As I opened the small suitcase, there, in all it's padded-shoulder glory, was my lovely purple backpack. I have no idea who decided to nest it in there right before school started, but suddenly, in my sorrow, I was so extremely happy that I actually got a little less anxious about school, and relieved that I would be able to lug my books around without killing my shoulders and back. The moral of the story is that even when it seems to be the worst day ever, you can still find things to bring you joy!

Life

It's been a while since I've posted anything. Mind you, life isn't that exciting right now, so there's not much to tell. I feel like I'm in 'mommy-mode' because little Belly was kind of sick yesterday. I've been under the weather as well this past week. My sore throat won't quit, but after an entire week of coughing after I said anything, it's better today. We've been back from Nauvoo a whole week! It's crazy.

Amazing vacation. Probably the most fun I've had on vaca with my both of my parents ever. And I got to sit next to Alex for 18 hours. What's better than that? It's a really hard drive, friends, but it's worth it. Nauvoo is the most amazing place. I'll admit that I was a little nervous to go back as a tourist. I didn't want to be totally sad that I wasn't there with the pageant, and get all down on myself. However, despite numerous hormonal overloads and breakdowns from yours truly, it was a great vacation! If I was short with anyone or seemed like I was out of it...it was the period talking, I swear!

Annabelle had a lovely time at the grandparents' house and even got her cousin, Vash the crazy Dachshund, to play with her for about 15 minutes. We had a lovely time with Ashley and Peter! I can't believe Ashley's pregnant. We had fun FINALLY getting to spend some time with Peter, after a year of marriage! I guess that's what happens when your best friend lives across the country. On our way home, we stayed in this great hotel in Des Moines, where we saw none other than Shawn Johnson


in the hotel lobby getting breakfast like the rest of us. Yes, folks, she eats eggs, too. She looks just like herself!

Good vacation brought to you by:

MadLibs, Harry Potter, VeggieTales, ice cream, hot husband, good friends, and the Spirit.

Thanks to all those who participated.

So soon!

Harry Potter!!! I can't wait. I absolutely LOVE Harry Potter! Whenever ABC Family has a "Harry Potter Weekend," I die. I love watching the first one and feeling the magic of it all! I wonder just what it is that draws people to the series. Alex is on the 7th book and I love reading all the books again with him! I really don't get sick of the books or the movies. Ahh!!! I am completely excited!

I'll Be There...watching tv...

Ok, I'm not going to lie. Today, while watching Michael Jackson's funeral, I got a little teary, which was very unexpected! Everyone said Mariah sounded amazing...which I really don't agree with. She was pretty pitchy the whole time. Jennifer Hudson killed it, even as prego as she is! John Mayer can really make his guitar sing. I was impressed with the whole thing, and felt sad that I didn't really embrace MJ's music as much as I could have while he was alive. On the other hand, I've been impressed with how many songs of his that I do know! All are iconic.

On another note, I am fascinated by watching people make cakes on tv. Why is that? I really think I could watch it all day. It's totally amazing and something I don't know if I could ever do. I'm just not very artistic. Last night on The Bachelorette, I thought I was going to die. Could Wes be a bigger loser? Ugh. But you know, I saw a lot of an ex of mine in him. I kept watching him and thinking, why does she even like him? Can't she see how awful he is, even after she's got all of these people telling her he's a liar? Well friends, I, too, have been taken down that path before. He's so charming and gentlemanly to your face, and even when he says obnoxious, jerky things to you, you don't really care. Why? Why do they have such power?! I don't know. I think that guys like that are so self-centered that they don't even consider that what they are doing will hurt other people. Girls, you can't change him, you'll never be able to. So steer clear of that fiasco. Listen to what people say. Being a player is a hard habit to break, apparently, and you do NOT want to go through that. Don't let a compliment or a bit of chivalry fool you. Get to know him a little bit better before giving him your heart!

Finally, how sad is America that there are enough crazy messy houses for Clean House to clean up? Seriously.

I really need...

a makeover. I'm consistently blahed by my boring wardrobe, damaged hair, and just-enough-to-feel-presentable makeup. I have to admit that I've wanted Cameron Diaz's hair since I saw The Holiday with my lovely friend, Michelle. However...I'm not brave. I wonder if the allure of the cut has something to do with Jude Law in those glasses...but probably not! I know that as soon as I cut my hair I'll need it long, so it stays long and gross. Much to my chagrin, I am not immune to the marriage weight-gain problem. People literally freak out when I mention this. I don't think I'm fat, I'm not going to be anorexic, but the truth is, I don't fit into my clothes anymore. And I hate buying new clothes when I am determined to get back down to the size where things fit again and actually look good on me. I don't usually have reasons to dress up or put more than base, blush and mascara. Therefore..stuck in a rut.
I can't wait to be rid of American Heritage in three days. The freedom will be sweet.

Heaven on earth

...is Sammy's sweet potato fries. I'm not even joking. For anyone in Provo, or thinking about coming to our thriving metropolis, go to Sammy's. I have just recently discovered the wonder that is Sammy's, and want to share the news. Sweet potato fries, amazing shakes, and really really good hamburgers. Let me know if you need a bit of amazingness in your day, and I just may go with you. go to sammyscafe.blogspot.com for info. Seriously!!

Before the Parade passes by...

I am obsessed with the Parade of Homes!! I took Alex on Saturday for his first time. He loved it, just as I knew he would! What is it about walking through some crazy expensive homes that gets me happy? Honestly, I don't really know. I love seeing the things I love. I love seeing the things that I don't love. I loved loved LOVED going with Alex! I can't describe how much I love that boy!!

I made him some breakfast Sunday morning and brought it up to him in bed, and he was so surprised! He thought it was probably the first time he'd ever gotten breakfast in bed. What?! I couldn't believe that we've been married for a year and a half and I'd never done that for him! I shall repent. Everyone deserves breakfast in bed at least once a year.

I don't know how people live without cars. Seriously. Alex's car broke down, and then mine did. We've been sharing the Suburban that we got from my dad and fixed up. Alex takes the car to work and I'm left at home...it's ridiculous how hard it is! I feel like I can't get anything done. But it's all good. What a random post. I am very excited to get out of American Heritage and have the new season of Psych finally on! Psych...what an amazing show. It makes me laugh so hard, whatever mood I'm in! I also can't wait to go visit Angie and Jim in California in August. Yay!

UP! is amazing. Everyone should go see it!!

Smelly Life

I was walking on campus the other day and suddenly my nose started reeling! The wonderful smell of cologne wafted over to me and made me so happy. Thank you so much to the men of the world who make my day a little better by smelling great.
I know I've said I'm scared of children, but I think I figured it out. I don't like the way babies and kids smell. It makes me gag. Walking by the baby isle in the grocery store just makes me angry and sick. I have so much to learn.
And why would someone bring their child into your house and let them run amuck? How disrespectful is that?! I won't go into that story more, but I will run a tight ship with my kids. If they don't want to be good, then off to boarding school with them! They are seriously going to be the most well-behaved children ever...just like me. Mark my words!!!
And Annabelle is the cutest thing ever. She makes me very happy. All day today, all she wanted to do was sleep on my lap. I hope I love my children as much. Heaven help us.

Holy Jazz Game!

I saw President Monson at the Jazz game tonight! I'm not kidding! He was standing and clapping in one of those 'cool people' boxes in the Delta Center. (I refuse to say 'Energy Solutions Arena.) I was so happy that he had time to come support! So cool. Alex and I even got on the megatron for our amazing dance moves! I love my puppy, and my husband. My friend and extended family member is coming this weekend and is going to go out with my stunningly beautiful friend that I haven't seen for two months! I am so excited. I can't believe people like to go to scary movies. I hate them. I get disturbed just by watching the commercials. Did I mention I love my dog? She gets a mouthful of food, brings it in to where we are, spits it out, then eats it all by us. It's cute, trust me. And she brings me her bowl when it's empty, even up the stairs! Ok...this was a random post, but I'm a random person. Deal!

One of those days

I haven't had the best day ever. Parts were great, but mostly not. I wish I could trade my body in for a new one, but I guess that's not an option. Last Thursday in class, I got brave and made a comment. Now, I get terrified in classroom settings and never speak. I'm more a fan of absorbing and forming my opinions quietly, because most of the time I don't have an opinion on what we're talking about yet. So I spoke up. I had a normal comment, but when I speak, my mind goes blank and murky...same when I bear my testimony in church (or on a bus, as my YAs will attest to). Well, I spent two minutes trying to say what I meant, using stupid examples that weren't really great examples of what I was trying to say, my mind completely fuzzy, and it was really bad and embarrassing, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since. Why?! Now I am terrified to go back to class, because I sit in the front row every day and I get so scared that people are going to look at me and think I'm stupid. Ugh.
The bright points in my day consisted of being with my parents, eating a fabulous dinner with Alex, and having my beautiful friends tell me specifically that they made it into MDT! Annabelle is using my foot as a pillow right now, which completely makes up for the fact that she chewed up my cell phone charger today, and just may have electrocuted herself.
It makes me sad when Alex is frustrated because tonight I can't do a thing about it. I want him to be able to sleep for 8 hours more that once a month, and I want the internet to always work, and I want his silly chemistry to make sense and to work for him.
And this weather. I need the sun!! I am ready for the spring!!! Soon, please!
p.s. Hugh Jackman is stellar. His opening song at the Oscars? Hilarious! Definitely my favorite part of the night.

Eternal Marriage

This evening I attended the keynote speech of the annual Church History Symposium at BYU, given by Marlin K. Jensen.  In it, Elder Jensen told a story of a couple in Austria who met after WWII.  They both spoke German but wanted to learn English, so they courted by writing letters to each other in English everyday, and would read Shakespeare together at night.  After they were married in a Catholic church, one day he told her that they'd be together eternally.  She said she'd never heard of that before.  He said to her (not a direct quote, but exactly what I remember), "Well, if it's not there when we pass, they'll invent it for us!"  A few years later, when the missionaries knocked on their door, the first thing he asked them was what they taught about marriage and family.  The rest is history!  

I was so touched by this story!  It made me grateful for the gift I have of an eternal companion, and knowing there is 'more to life than what we see, and someplace yet to go, beyond where we have been!'

What to do...

I have come to the realization that I have no idea what I'm doing with my life. And I have no idea what I want to do, or rather, don't know if what I want is worth it. I'm beginning to regret my decision of not auditioning for MDT or Acting when I was a freshman. Maybe now, six years later, I'd actually be graduated. Even if I weren't, I'd at least be in a major doing something I love...and the only thing I'm good at. I have a smart husband who has a great paying job. I've never been payed more than minimum wage for a job. I just don't have any real marketable skills that will get me great amounts of money. I'm not too upset about it, except that it's impossible to get jobs these days, because if someone is hiring, they need the specialist.
I sing. I act. I love it. The only time I ever really feel like I'm fulfilling my calling in life is when I'm singing. However, after Tuacahn last year, my enthusiasm has waned. I just can't justify being in a theater environment. I have an extremely sensitive spirit, and unless I'm working for the LDS Church, where I thrive, I...don't thrive. But then I see my friends in shows and movies and I get depressed that I'm not there with them. Literally, I can't live with it, but I can I live without it? Do I want to? I married an actor turned engineer, and I want to be with him as much as I can. My life isn't just about me anymore. We thought we'd go do regional theater together, but now that's not an option. I couldn't leave him for months at a time, doing jobs anywhere and everywhere I could get them. It's a very selfish profession- and I can't really be selfish anymore. And we don't have enough money to fly out to auditions every other week. But I'm just not happy not doing it. Ugh.

Random things

Alex is talking to me about integrals and I am trying to pay attention. One thing about me is that math doesn't stick in my brain. I don't know why. Ah well. I've been getting requests to post more on this little bloggy, so I shall do my best. My trouble with it is that when something happens to me, I think, "Oh, my life is awesome! I have to write this down." Then I wonder whether to put it in my blog or to handwrite it into my journal. Journal wins almost every time. But do I ever write in my journal? Not really. Not even about my wedding or our first year or so of marriage. Well, nobody's perfect, but we can all keep trying, right? So we were learning this dance tonight for the scholarship showcase for Syd. I mean, it's not even enough to really be called a dance...more like a few steps. I am awful! And choosing poses terrifies me. Not as much as children do, but it's in the same range. I'm a moron. I have decided that come Saturday, I will be great! I have been watching my dog sleep for the past few hours and it's probably the most adorable thing I've ever seen. My own little walking fluffball. :) We got called to the activities committee and I'm also terrified of that. Man, I need to get over my fears.
I think I have the best husband in the world. He's so patient with me and loving and kind. Life is so much better when you have someone to say "I love you" to at night and in the morning and to text it to during all hours of the day. I'm not needy or anything. Alex said I should start a blog for us, but I figure I wouldn't be much better at 2 than I am at 1, so I'm sticking to this one for now. I really have nothing else to say. I should review movies. I'm a genius!

Not much better than journals...

Was my last post really September? Well, a lot can happen in a few months. We have the most adorable puppy! Her name is Annabelle. She keeps us entertained and we love her a lot. Savior of the World was the best experience I've had with it in my four years as Mary, thanks, largely, to my wonderful husband. I also had a consistent group of extraordinary people around me all the time. I can't believe the Lord has seen fit to bless me so much. We bought a house! It's a cute little townhouse in south Provo...if you need a place to crash, we've got an extra bed...but Annabelle will probably want to sleep with you.
I decided to take a class this semester, but on the first day, after liking both that I'd signed up with, I decided to take two! I love them. I'm having a great time and I'm learning a lot. I wish I could major in Theology. I'm not sure I'm a great grown-up. I absolutely hate doing the dishes. I will do them, because I know Alex doesn't have time...but I surely do hate it. All I want to do is decorate and make our house really cute.
I haven't been feeling well. Not a big surprise for me, because I never feel well. I've been sleeping a lot lately, and can't seem to get hydrated. Anyway...
I've been having such a hard time with figuring out my life. I pretty much get the same advice from everyone, but I'm not sure how to put it in practice. Maybe David Foster will discover me and let me get paid to sing for the rest of my life and I'd be happy. If only! Hey, if anyone needs a singer...and wants to pay me...I'm really good! I promise. Oh well.
Can I just say that children terrify me? I'm awful with them, I have no desire whatsoever to hold them, and I am definitely not ready to have them. It makes me really unhappy when people constantly ask when we're going to have kids. Why do they care?! We've only been married for a year! Everyone says to enjoy this time together...but then they keep asking. And when I give my response, they are shocked! What's so shocking about 3 years? I think I have to get over my fear of babies first, people. I'd much rather have my little puppy in my arms right now. I need to be able to take care of myself before that, too. This is not what I set out for this post to be.
Oh well. I have a headache and it's past bedtime, so I'll just leave it at that. And hope the next one isn't in four months from now.