Sunday, September 7, 2008

Does it still matter?

When does something stop mattering? How far gone do you have to be for promises and covenants to be forgotten and broken? Now, I am not trying to judge unrighteously in this post. I'm not saying that I'm better than anyone. I also know that not everyone was raised like I was. But I was taught the same Sunday School and Young Women lessons as everyone else. I made the same covenants in the temple of the Lord that many others have made. When does one forget? The dictionary says the word 'remember' comes from the Latin memorari, meaning "to be mindful of." We are taught in the scriptures to always remember the Lord. That means that we need to always be mindful of the Lord. What causes someone to forget the promises they have made and stop being mindful of Him?
I was taught to respect my body. I was taught and I know that it is a sacred gift, and not my own. I know that how I dress affects not only me, but those around me. I never wanted what I wore to reflect badly on me or to cause my guy friends to have to look away from me to keep their thoughts clean. I respected those around me enough to be conscious of what I wore. I wear shirts with sleeves, shorts to the knee, cover my stomach, and one-piece swimming suits. I've heard girls complain that they can't get dates if they dress that way. I don't get that. Do you really want to be attracting people who will date you because you are dressing skimpily? I absolutely wouldn't. As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I know that others are watching me. I am happy to be an example. Many of my jobs have required me to be very conscious of just how much of an example that I am. I don't want anyone to question who I am or what I believe because of how I dress or speak.
I also know that the Lord is watching. He was watching when I was taught about wearing modest clothes, and He is mindful of me and when I do and don't do the things I was taught. A lot of what I was taught as a youth were leading me to be worthy to get married in the temple. I got there, and now I strive to be worthy always to hold a temple recommend which allows me to continue to do the Lord's work in the temple and remember the promises I made to Him, and those He made to me. I made a promise that I would wear modest clothes. Of course, if I'm exercising or dancing or wearing a costume or doing something else that is physically demanding enough that it requires dressing another way, I will do it. However, I was taught to get right back into modest clothes when I am done, and I do that. I know that everyone else who's been to the temple was taught the same thing. Why does one forget? Is having a sleeveless, short dress more important than the Lord? How does one justify dressing that way? Heat? Convenience? Where there is justification for modesty, another justification is not far away. What will it be next? Swearing? Church? Sex?
I am tired of seeing my friends on Facebook and in life wearing immodest things. There is always something else to wear! Is it so much more work to put a t-shirt on instead of a tank top? Is it too hard to go searing a bit more for a dress with sleeves or wear something on top of it? Is it?! I am so grateful for those friends who I see that are wearing things that are modest. I want to give them all huge hugs! It's true that it may be a little more work to find things to wear that are modest, shirts that are long enough or dresses with sleeves, but isn't it worth it? To be able to walk uprightly before the Lord and everyone you meet, knowing that He is mindful of you? And showing the Lord that you are mindful of Him?
I know many people will be upset by this. Go ahead. I hold people to my high standards, and I am not apologizing for it. There are many who are more brave than I am and can say what they feel in person. I'm just not that person. I just couldn't go one more day without making my feelings public to whoever reads this blog. Just remember!

I'll Go Where You Want Me To Go

I've been absorbed by the subject of my last post for a long time. At church today, I had a thought. We were singing the hymn, "I'll Go Where You Want Me To Go." The song says, I'll go where you want me to go, dear Lord, over mountain or plain or sea. It's easy to say that you will go anywhere and do anything the Lord wants you to do. If He called on you to do something really taxing, you would do it. It is, of course, for the Lord. But why would the Lord ever call on us to do what He needs, when we aren't doing what we have been asked already? If we are too tired to get up for church on Sunday, too busy to do visiting teaching, which we as Relief Society sisters have been called to do, why would the Lord trust us with anything else? I often think that if the Lord called on me to move to some far-off place, I wouldn't hesitate. I used to have this dream that I was famous and would regularly confer with the Bretheren and/or the First Presidency on what I should say on talk shows and other interviews. I was called on to be a sort of musical ambassador for the Church. I have so many lofty dreams that are fairly attainable, but if I am not doing the small things, why would I get to do the big things, too? I've heard people question when we will receive the sealed portions of the Book of Mormon, and the answer is, of course, not until we have treasured, followed, prayed about, and studied the portion we already have!

Thursday, September 4, 2008

It's been a while...

I don't really know where to start. I am just about the most awful blogger/journal writer ever. I'm sitting here in St. George, UT while Alex, the perfect husband, is working. We are down doing the shows at Tuacahn this summer. I could complain for days about everything that's happening here, and I'm sad to say that I have been. I didn't realize how hard it would be down here. I am trying not to judge. Alex and I have questioned everything except for the Church and each other while being here. It's too hot to go outside, and we just stay at home most of the day. What is it about summerstock that is just so hard? I keep hearing that it's not like regular theater, but I have to think that to some extent, it is. If this is what I was doing for my profession, I would be in 'summerstock' all year round. I would be in a different place with nothing to really do but the show. The people I would be with all the time would be the people in the shows. I don't know. It doesn't sound like any life that I want.
I said that I was trying not to judge. I know that I have very high standards for myself. It isn't a problem that those who believe and have been raised differently from me are swearing or being crude. The hardest thing for me is to watch those that I am fairly sure know better, doing those same things. Why is still cool for some people to swear? When did that happen? Where was I? When did church become an optional activity? When did simple callings become too hard to fit in to our schedules? And why do those few people who have the courage to say how they feel about those things become the subjects of scorn, ridicule, and backbiting? Is it just the summerstock environment that makes these things happen? Or is it just so easy to forget? I may very well have been raised differently than others, but not going to church because you don't feel like it or are too tired just isn't right. I am not saying that I am perfect. Far from it. It is extremely hard to get home from a show at 12:30 and have to wind down for at least an hour, but more likely two hours, then trying to get a good night's sleep so you don't get sick, and getting up earlier than you'd like or need just to go to church? I'm not perfect at going to church, but I'm trying. But enough complaining!