Blogs!!

Wow. I'm writing a blog. I wonder how it all works. Maybe I'll post sample picture or something...or just ramble on. I'm really not a good speaker. I usually can't stop and my thoughts go a million different places. I am a lot better at writing, so this might be just the thing for me.

So I'm trying to finish this incomplete in my History 400 class. I am having a really hard time doing it. I just can't concentrate.

I used to love school. I lived for getting A's. In 8th grade I got really sick, and I prety much dropped out. As a result, I've gotten through school by compromising with teachers and doing the minimal amount of work possible to pass. Consequently, I've become a bit lazy. I hate it. I used to be the girl who did everything perfectly and went the extra mile, and I loved it. I have a thing for making people happy. If I can help someone, I usually do. But I hate doing a run-of-the-mill job. I find myself with a bit of a perfection problem. I either want to be perfect and amazing at something, or fail miserably. To just be 'average' makes my skin crawl a little bit. I'm better than I used to be, but it's definately still a part of me. I had a counselor once challenge me to get a 'C' on a paper. I almost had an anxiety attack. I hate disappointing people, teachers included.

There's no way that I'm going to do an amazing job on these projects, and that's ok. I just want to pass the class. But it's still really hard. Ugh.