Eternal Marriage

This evening I attended the keynote speech of the annual Church History Symposium at BYU, given by Marlin K. Jensen.  In it, Elder Jensen told a story of a couple in Austria who met after WWII.  They both spoke German but wanted to learn English, so they courted by writing letters to each other in English everyday, and would read Shakespeare together at night.  After they were married in a Catholic church, one day he told her that they'd be together eternally.  She said she'd never heard of that before.  He said to her (not a direct quote, but exactly what I remember), "Well, if it's not there when we pass, they'll invent it for us!"  A few years later, when the missionaries knocked on their door, the first thing he asked them was what they taught about marriage and family.  The rest is history!  

I was so touched by this story!  It made me grateful for the gift I have of an eternal companion, and knowing there is 'more to life than what we see, and someplace yet to go, beyond where we have been!'

What to do...

I have come to the realization that I have no idea what I'm doing with my life. And I have no idea what I want to do, or rather, don't know if what I want is worth it. I'm beginning to regret my decision of not auditioning for MDT or Acting when I was a freshman. Maybe now, six years later, I'd actually be graduated. Even if I weren't, I'd at least be in a major doing something I love...and the only thing I'm good at. I have a smart husband who has a great paying job. I've never been payed more than minimum wage for a job. I just don't have any real marketable skills that will get me great amounts of money. I'm not too upset about it, except that it's impossible to get jobs these days, because if someone is hiring, they need the specialist.
I sing. I act. I love it. The only time I ever really feel like I'm fulfilling my calling in life is when I'm singing. However, after Tuacahn last year, my enthusiasm has waned. I just can't justify being in a theater environment. I have an extremely sensitive spirit, and unless I'm working for the LDS Church, where I thrive, I...don't thrive. But then I see my friends in shows and movies and I get depressed that I'm not there with them. Literally, I can't live with it, but I can I live without it? Do I want to? I married an actor turned engineer, and I want to be with him as much as I can. My life isn't just about me anymore. We thought we'd go do regional theater together, but now that's not an option. I couldn't leave him for months at a time, doing jobs anywhere and everywhere I could get them. It's a very selfish profession- and I can't really be selfish anymore. And we don't have enough money to fly out to auditions every other week. But I'm just not happy not doing it. Ugh.

Random things

Alex is talking to me about integrals and I am trying to pay attention. One thing about me is that math doesn't stick in my brain. I don't know why. Ah well. I've been getting requests to post more on this little bloggy, so I shall do my best. My trouble with it is that when something happens to me, I think, "Oh, my life is awesome! I have to write this down." Then I wonder whether to put it in my blog or to handwrite it into my journal. Journal wins almost every time. But do I ever write in my journal? Not really. Not even about my wedding or our first year or so of marriage. Well, nobody's perfect, but we can all keep trying, right? So we were learning this dance tonight for the scholarship showcase for Syd. I mean, it's not even enough to really be called a dance...more like a few steps. I am awful! And choosing poses terrifies me. Not as much as children do, but it's in the same range. I'm a moron. I have decided that come Saturday, I will be great! I have been watching my dog sleep for the past few hours and it's probably the most adorable thing I've ever seen. My own little walking fluffball. :) We got called to the activities committee and I'm also terrified of that. Man, I need to get over my fears.
I think I have the best husband in the world. He's so patient with me and loving and kind. Life is so much better when you have someone to say "I love you" to at night and in the morning and to text it to during all hours of the day. I'm not needy or anything. Alex said I should start a blog for us, but I figure I wouldn't be much better at 2 than I am at 1, so I'm sticking to this one for now. I really have nothing else to say. I should review movies. I'm a genius!