City Beautiful

I am learning so much this year. I know that the Lord is putting things and people in my path to help me grow. Not only is the 'acting style' different, the whole approach is, too. We aren't acting, really. We are sharing our testimonies up on stage. We aren't 'putting on' or 'finding' a character, we are truly being ourselves. The trick is that we have to know ourselves so much that we can open up and not be self-concious or afraid of who we are. I am a daughter of God, and I know that He loves me. I know that I have been sent for times like this. I know that I have been put in a situation where I can learn and grow, and help others see the truth of the gospel. I have a deep responsibility toward the people who I've represented on stages and cameras. I have to watch myself all the time to make sure that what I'm doing and especially how I'm acting reflects the light and truth that I've been given. I have been allowed the opportunity to share the gospel- especially in the way that I act. If, for one second, I was not living up to the standards that I have set, it would be devastating.

The other day, my friend, Paul, and I went to lunch. Afterward, we went to Macey's to get some ice cream. Lo and behold, there was a family that had done Nauvoo and Savior of the World getting ice cream, too. Now, these kids know me. To them, I am Mary. Or Eliza R. Snow. I am a person of substance and deep faith, and do good to everyone. If I happened to turn the corner laughing loudly or being obnoxious, even for a moment, their perception of not only me, but of their entire Nauvoo/Savior experience would be altered. Therefore, I feel like it is my job to always live up to the Mary/Eliza persona. It is not easy by any means, but I believe that it is neccesary.

I've been presented with somewhat of a diffifult situation. Without going into specifics, something other than the work has occupied my attention during rehearsals. It is hard not to think about my dreams and my future, but right now my responsibility is toward the Pageant and I don't want to do anything to jeopardize that. It is hard to know where to draw the line, but I am trying to let the Spirit guide me.

I want to be good. I want to be good so much! I am trying to do the right thing, and focus on today in stead of the near future. "One step at a time, one hope, then another. Who knows where this road may go?" A piece of my dreams came true yesterday, and it was a little bit amazing. But still, caution. "I had to give away all I had to get back everything I want."

Yesterday in rehearsal, the temple panels went up for the first time this year. I could not have known the Spirit that flooded over me when I turned to see it. I am so blessed to be able do do this work, to tell the story of Nauvoo, and to be the conduit for the Spirit that brings people to Christ. It's there. "When you're here, we're here." We are being blessed constantly for the sacrifices we are making. The veil was very thin when looking at our beautiful temple.

I pray that I will make a difference somehow. That the Lord can use me in whatever way He sees fit. It will be an amazing summer, I can tell already. Full of opportunities for ETRs, as my friend, Annie, calls "enhancing the relationship" rather than DTRs- "defining the relationship." Oh yes. Bring it on.